Element 6: Have a Helper

Jesus Christ is our most faithful, loving, powerful and helpful friend. Through Him alone are we saved from our sins and our lust. But finding another person to be your friend and helper in this battle can be very beneficial. The Bible teaches that human friends are wonderful things to have, who help us.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him--a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (ESV)

This person can be your confidante, your adviser, your prayer partner, someone you are accountable to, and your friend. Someone to help you, through Jesus, fight this evil.

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1-2 (NIV)

Report to your helper daily, being honest about it. Apart from being sinful, dishonesty makes it easy to slip back into lust. Confess if you've deceived your helper, and get back on track. Ask them to pray for you. It can also help to talk about things. Contact your helper if you are badly tempted. And maybe your friend will be the person you confess to.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed James 5:16a (NASB^®)

Your friend can help keep you accountable with your holiness and your prayer and Bible reading too.

Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6 (NIV)

Having a friend helps you not be secretive with your problems, and means you aren't going it alone as far as human friendship goes.

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17 (KJV)

Who should your helper be? We believe the very best choice is a trustworthy Christian who is in agreement with you about how serious lust is and how important it is to remove it. Maybe a close friend or your spouse. We recommend your helper, if possible, be the same gender as you unless he or she is your spouse. This will probably allow more appropriate and safe discussion by both parties.

It can be nerve-wracking to make that first move of confession to another person. It is a big step, and it can take faith in God that "it will be ok". But the true Christian reaction to your confession should be love, not rejection. Of course, your helper may be deeply hurt, and it may be a difficult time. We can't speak for individual circumstances and reactions. But God requires forgiveness and compassion of us all. If we are seeking Him truly, then we must trust Him it will work out ok.

It will help your heart a lot when somebody else knows. It truly makes things easier to bear. It could also be considered an important step in faith, humility, and softening of the heart, and in this way too be a valuable part of defeating sexual sin.

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